I'm sure you've noticed, its the Olympics..
Today we won several useful pursuits like clay pigeon shooting (maybe they could practise on the real things so prolific in my city!) and double slalom, otherwise known as 'two men in a boat' (or having a session of white water rafting in the -not- Grand Canyon)
On pursuit bikes the girls didn't do so well, how do you get disqualified on one of those? And how do you pursue on a bike, surely something our city bobbies should get better at....
Come to think of it using Boris bikes instead of the supercharged carbon fibre things, that seem to break when you peddle too hard, ''oh the steering's gone...'' might be more of a challenge....I can see it now, races in weaving between lanes and avoiding traffic islands, scaring the hell out of motorists, jumping red lights and fixing punctures! We 'd be bound to win something, even if it was a prize for travelling too close to the bike in front, on a surface resembling my sitting room floor. Seriously our cycling men have done so well!
Tonight it seems more ordinary stuff calls, like speed swimming, front and back, not allowed those long suits anymore that take half an hour to put on, cost a lot and rip with one misplaced fingernail!
I'm never good at back swimming, I weave all over the lane and quickly become a hazard to other water users, then bang my head on the pool end...that's about as efficient as my reversing straight into a parking place, tho my parallel parking is second to none... even in the dark I can squeeze the Ford into a tiny space, but looking down the line of cars afterwards, mine is the one with the bit sticking out, always the one parked slightly sideways with the wheels turned round like a cartoon!
So what else is for viewing delectation tonight? Have to honestly admit I've not been swimming, there's no class on thursday, it was tiring enough just watching competitive swimming after yesterday's class re-creation of tsunamis and sinking liners! Our usual tutor, skinny as a rake and with boundless enthusiasm was down in London, attending the 'real thing' (as a viewer I add, not a participant' ) so we had a substitute teacher... and thereby hangs a tale... there was no slacking, no time to think, no gentle waving of arms, one move into the next, punch, jump, kick, each music track had its own series of moves, I will never 'move like jagger' in a pool full of water, and we had jogging in between ...jogging in water that is (cue muffled laughter) we finally collapsed when she asked, no demanded, that we hold hands and run in the water at speed in a circle, then change direction. This was her cool down exercise, I crawled home!
So I was supposed to bike today but the championship Brits kindof put me off, I wasn't prepared to face other bikers re-creating a Bradley Wiggins scenario on the cycle track that runs round the City's horserace course.... and then it rained. Sadly I am a fairweather biker unless I get caught miles from home...
Oh I've forgotten the boxing, hard to explain to the grandchildren that it's acceptable to punch people as an Olympic sport but not at nursery school!
So what else have we, I seem to have missed the BMX trials, that was
serious red button stuff, doing things you're really not supposed to do with what passes for a
bike (Lets see them try that on a Boris bike lol) while the Beeb watches
on, serious late night stuff that! Was there tiddly winks, sumo wrestling/ did I miss those too?
Time to cease being facetious and go and heft a watering can like a weightlifter. The BBC choice of athlete for my height/weight shape was a Hungarian shot putter, says it all I fear (track and field tomorrow now theyve re-surfaced the venues and I have late shift work) because despite the rain today stopping my re-creation of the Tour de France, the geraniums are still demanding their evening drink..
Cue G&T or a glass of milk!
Well done Olympians